Facilities-Supplies-People: Confrontation and Mediation

Confrontation and Mediation

Every month, you meet with your membership committee or your staff to review requests and concerns submitted by the membership. These meetings have been taking place for several years, and you’ve noticed a noticeable pattern. It appears that almost all complaints and suggestions concern the interactions between members. It’s the same issues every month: personal hygiene, use of cell phones, sharing space with others, and circumstances that would normally be avoided with common courtesy.

This makes sense. After all, what clubs provide is a common place for hundreds, sometimes thousands of people to congregate. This is a very unique environment that will prove to be a great challenge for any manager. Trying to get so many people to coexist in an environment of high energy, and in some instances, including competitive activities, is an ongoing challenge. You can post as many signs as you want, add reminders in your newsletters, and provide an ongoing educational program to help enforce your club policies; in the end, you will still find yourself facing numerous violations and having to resolve confrontations.

Unfortunately, this hostility can spill over onto your staff, and what was originally an issue between members becomes an issue between a member and an employee. The reason: it’s more likely that a member will vent their frustration and concerns towards an employee than with another member. Managers will need to constantly assist their staff in learning how to handle an angry member. Teach them to listen first, follow with questions showing honest interest and concern, and then finish by responding with an appreciation of the member’s concerns. Teach them this response, and you will have trained them to handle most issues and most complaints.

Let’s first look at a list of common complaints, why they take place, and some potential solutions. Each facility will have its own physical layout that can foster certain issues; however, a common issue among most facilities is hygiene. Members will not pick up after themselves, they will fail to shower before using the pools, they’ll leave Band-Aids lying around, misuse the club towels, and most commonly, display unsavory personal hygiene. Why? That’s actually a pretty simple question to answer. It probably falls under the same category as those who still litter, spit on the sidewalk, drive recklessly, and generally behave selfishly.

It’s unlikely that you have a “no selfish behavior clause” in your membership contract, so you and your staff will have to deal with these people. On occasion, your discipline with these people will work, but most often it will be short-lived. Trying to manage the personal character of your members is not going to happen. The sooner you come to terms with that, the more likely you will be able to address these people over the long haul.

To better equip yourself with this long-term project, make a list of these common issues and how you can best address them. This will help both you and your staff react to these situations and come to terms with the understanding that there is often no resolution, just a need for constant supervision.

At the top of the list will be personal hygiene. This will include everything from those who display outwardly physical offensive actions, to those who simply are out of touch with respecting the environment they share with others. As an example, every day you have someone who discards Band-Aids in the showers or spits on the courts when they are playing. Since the normal method of communication through signs or newsletters has had no impact, you will need to approach these people directly. Follow these steps: be sure you introduce yourself first and create a personal connection. Try to find a private location to interact with the member. Be careful that you’re not too diplomatic and end up hiding the message, and at the same time, you don’t need to accuse or reprimand the member harshly. “Hello, my name is …, I am the … here at the Club, and I noticed that when you play, you often spit on the court. We would appreciate it if you didn’t do that, as it is offensive to others.”

The key words in this approach are “I noticed,” not “I heard from others,” or “someone told me.” Also, the expression “We would appreciate,” as compared to “I would appreciate,” so that you are representing the entire staff and members in this request.

At this point, be ready to start listening, because you will either get an instant capitulation or the beginning of a not-so-subtle defense. Let them vent, and when they are ready to listen, simply remind them that this is the policy that is appropriate for everyone. Avoid apologizing for your policy, as in, “I’m sorry, but this is our policy,” or “I know this is uncomfortable for you to adjust to, but…”. This will only open the door for more unnecessary conversation.

Always remember, when it comes to enforcing the rules, use common enforcement procedures: state it, don’t defend it, and then move on.

The next area of conflict has to do with sharing space. This is an even more difficult area to manage, because it can often be interpreted as a difference of opinion, rather than a conflict in club usage. As an example, your policy states that cell phones are off limits around the outdoor pool and especially in the locker rooms, for obvious reasons. A member has an emergency and needs to call home right away; other members complain, and you have to intervene. This is going to be a no-win situation. You hope that you can address the person who used the phone in a way that comes across as being informative and sympathetic. You also want to make sure that the member who complained feels that you have responded to their request. Once again, handle these situations in private as much as possible.

Here’s another example. You have a member who constantly uses inappropriate language. He feels that he should be able to express himself as he wants and that others should not be so nosy. Again, a no-win situation. Hopefully, you can convey to this member that he has the right to communicate as he pleases, but must remember that what he voices too loudly can be offensive to others. This is just one of many examples of where one member has their rights, and another member also has their rights. There’s no right or wrong, just the need for you to intervene and keep the peace among some members. Mediating conflict will be an ongoing job that will only be deemed successful because you are willing to do it, not because you have decided on who is right and who is wrong. The more you can demonstrate that you are willing to act on these conflicts, the more the members appreciate the fact that you are trying to make the club a better place for everyone.

There are a number of conflicts that can be remedied through design rather than intervention. For instance, you have a problem with members not showering before using the pool. Perhaps you can install a shower nearer the pool to help induce this habit. Look into routing new paths in your facility that will help members get to other locations without being a distraction to someone else. Barriers, sound boards, and adding doors can all help keep the members directed properly. Placing trash receptacles in the proper locations may seem obvious, but you would be surprised how often facilities miss the mark.

Another example of a design issue is with most tennis courts. Tennis courts will often be equipped with trash containers on the net post, but the fact is that in many facilities, the entry gate is at the back of the court. So, by design, members prepare to play their match at the back of the courts, which means that they will often leave the lids, or other waste, in that area.  

Providing enough hangers, hooks, or shelves will help eliminate members leaving their personal belongings all over the place. Another healthy step towards keeping a pleasant atmosphere at the facility is to try to reward positive or proper behavior. Employees should thank members when they show proper etiquette and behavior. Newsletters should point out the positive trends that are taking place. “Congratulations Members, last month we turned in over 200 pounds of recycled bottles and cans for recycling,” or “We appreciate that members are being responsible and returning towels to the Reception Desk.” Notices like these will help get members on board.

Another way to help avoid conflict and confrontation is to continue to change with the times. There are many good qualities to tradition, but if it means bucking the industry's trends and essentially the desire of the majority of your membership, you may need to rethink your policies. This is a fluid industry in a changing world. Rules and standards sometimes need to change with the times. For that reason, it is important to stay flexible and be able to adapt. It wasn’t that long ago that only white tennis clothes could be worn at many tennis clubs. Now the new trends that are promoted by the industry, including sleeveless shirts, longer pants, and black shoes, are all commonplace.

A good manager will learn to go with the flow and take on the tricky task of maintaining good standards for the facility while adjusting to a new trend favored by the majority of members. Such action will help avoid confrontations and easier for your staff to enforce. The conflicts and constant need to mediate confrontations are the issues that can wear a manager down. Remind yourself that your willingness to be involved makes you a successful manager.