In the Trenches: Coaching’s Prime Directive to Bringing Sportsmanship Back to the Court

When we talk about coaching, we often frame it around the “four pillars” of player development: technical, tactical, athletic, and mental/emotional/energy growth. Those are non-negotiables. Every player, from 10U beginners to pros grinding on the ITF circuit, needs all four if they want to succeed.

But there’s a fifth pillar that is quietly slipping through the cracks in today’s game: sportsmanship and etiquette.

Tennis has long been called a “gentleman’s sport.” That phrase wasn’t about gender — it was about respect. Respect for your opponent. Respect for the game. Respect for yourself. Yet more and more, whether in junior events, adult leagues, or even professional tournaments, I see a disregard for these basic courtesies.

A Moment That Says It All

Recently, I was courtside for one of Veronika’s pro matches. She hit a double fault, and her opponent actually shouted, “Come on!” as though she had earned the point. Later in the match, Veronika lost a point on a net cord winner, and again, the opponent said nothing. No raised hand. No acknowledgment of good fortune. Just silence.

Veronika turned, clearly frustrated, and reminded her opponent what normal protocol is. Then she looked over at the coach and asked the question that has been ringing in my ears ever since:
“Is this what you are teaching your player to do?”

That’s the heart of it. Coaches set the tone. Players mirror what they are taught and what they see modeled on the court. If etiquette is missing, it’s because somewhere along the way, it was devalued, dismissed, or ignored.

The Cost of Neglecting Etiquette

When players fail to learn proper etiquette, the impact goes far beyond a single match.

• At the junior level, kids miss out on learning respect, humility, and empathy — qualities that carry into life beyond tennis.

• At the adult league level, bad etiquette kills community spirit. Instead of fostering camaraderie, matches become breeding grounds for conflict.

• At the pro level, the game loses credibility. Fans notice. Parents notice. And younger players copy what they see.

What was once a sport that prided itself on integrity risks becoming just another battleground for gamesmanship and poor behavior.

The Role of Coaches in the Trenches

We cannot shrug our shoulders and say, “That’s just how the game is now.” As coaches in the trenches, our directive must be broader. Yes, we train the strokes, the footwork, the strategy, the fitness, and the mental toughness. But we also carry the responsibility of teaching players how to win with class and lose with grace.

That means weaving sportsmanship into daily practice:

• When a player benefits from a net cord, remind them to raise a hand.

• When an opponent misses a serve, don’t allow your player to cheer — teach them to refocus quietly.

• When a heated point ends, emphasize the handshake as much as the forehand.

And it goes beyond the players. Parents need this education too. The sideline culture of junior tennis is often worse than what happens on court. Parents must model calm, respectful behavior — no over-celebrating opponent errors, no undermining officials, no sideline coaching. Coaches must take the lead in setting those expectations.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

We live in a sports culture where chest-thumping and trash talk are the norm. That’s not tennis. If we allow tennis to drift into that space, we lose one of the game’s defining values. The etiquette that once made tennis unique is not old-fashioned — it is essential.

As professionals, we need to plant a flag in the ground: our players will know the game, and they will respect the game. This is not optional. It is as much a part of development as learning to hit topspin.

Because at the end of the day, the true measure of a player is not only in the points they win, but in how they win them — and how they handle losing.

In the Trenches Takeaway

Sportsmanship is not a luxury add-on to player development. It is a prime directive. If we fail to teach it, we are failing both the game and the next generation of players. The example I saw with Veronika isn’t isolated — it’s a warning sign.

So here’s the challenge: as coaches, are we willing to demand more? Are we teaching our players to play smart, to play hard, and to play with respect? If not, then the erosion of etiquette falls squarely on us.

It’s time to reclaim tennis as a sport of skill and character. That starts with us — the coaches in the trenches.