It’s a Child’s World — We’re Just Lucky to Be a Part of It

Steve is a tennis coach and a leading authority on methods of learning. He wants to challenge perceptions and ask coaches to think about their own methods whilst detailing an alternative option that he believes will improve you as a coach

During a recent coaching workshop, a very experienced coach found themselves at odds with some of my opinions. They weren’t the first. My contemporary lens on coaching has certainly ruffled a few feathers over the years. I get it—challenging traditional approaches can feel uncomfortable, especially when they’ve been ingrained in our practices for decades.

For many years, I was no different. I believed the coach—me—was the expert. I thought the tennis court was my domain, and the players entering it needed to meet my standards: high intensity, unwavering discipline, and tireless work rate. After all, I was the “performance” coach, and my job was to extract every ounce of potential from my players. That’s what they (or their parents) were paying for, right? My peers were coaching the same way, and it seemed like the blueprint for success.

The Coach as the Center of the Universe

I told my players what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. I got frustrated when they deviated from my perfectly laid-out tactics. If they didn’t repeat the technical model I demonstrated, I questioned their focus, commitment, or effort.

I compared them to each other. I warned them, somewhere, someone is training harder than you are. If you don’t push yourself harder, you’ll never make it. I believed it was my world, and they were simply players passing through.

But here’s the truth: that approach didn’t work. It left me burned out, frustrated, and disillusioned. And my players? They were likely feeling the same way.

For 20 years, I believed the coach was the expert—the most important person on the court. I had the qualifications, the experience, the knowledge. I was supposed to hold the answers. What I failed to realize was that I wasn’t the star of the show. I wasn’t even the director. I was, at best, a supporting cast member. The players are the stars. It’s their world. I’m just lucky enough to be allowed to be a part of it.

Seeing the World Through a New Lens

Discovering ecological psychology and ecological dynamics was a revelation for me. These frameworks teach that we all perceive the world differently. The way I see tennis, shaped by 20 years of coaching, is entirely different from the way a 10-year-old player sees it.

Where I might see an opportunity for an attacking forehand, they might see a defensive shot. Where I see a tactical gap, they might see a moment to breathe. Why? Because my lens—a 5’9” coach with two decades of experience—was shaped by my journey. Their lens? A 4-foot player who’s only been playing tennis for a few years, loves Minecraft, and still sleeps in Spider-Man pajamas.

When I was forcing my ideas and solutions onto players, I was asking them to adopt my perspective. I was trying to mold them into something that matched my vision, not theirs. What I should have been doing was helping them become the best version of themselves.

The Creativity of Children

As adults, we often forget how boring we are. We’ve had creativity and curiosity drilled out of us by years of education and life experience. Kids, on the other hand, are endlessly imaginative. Where I see a trash bag, they see a superhero cape.

The problem with traditional coaching methods is that they suppress this creativity. By telling players exactly how to play—what shot to hit, where to stand, how to move—we deny them the chance to explore the game in their own way. We stifle their creativity and rob them of the joy of discovery.

Let Kids Be Kids

Instead of imposing models and answers, coaching should be about creating opportunities for discovery. Rather than telling players what to see, we should guide them on where to look. It’s not about controlling the outcome but setting up environments that allow players to find their own solutions.

Here’s how this shift in philosophy plays out on the court:

• Instead of lecturing about technique, I ask questions like, What did you see? Why did you make that decision?

• Instead of drilling players to repeat the same shot, I design game-like scenarios where they have to adapt, adjust, and make decisions.

• Instead of focusing on perfect execution, I focus on behaviors—curiosity, effort, problem-solving, and resilience.

This approach acknowledges that learning is non-linear. Players will make mistakes. They’ll take detours. But through this process, they’ll develop the skills they need to navigate the unpredictable, dynamic nature of the game—and have fun doing it.

The Role of the Coach

The moment I stopped trying to control every detail, my coaching—and my players—started to thrive. I realized my job isn’t to tell players how to play; it’s to create an environment where they can explore, experiment, and grow. By stepping back, I’ve found that players not only learn more effectively, but they also love the game more. And let’s face it—if a child doesn’t love tennis, they won’t stick with it long enough to develop the skills we think they need for the future.

A Final Thought

Kids don’t play tennis to meet your expectations. They play because they love the game, the challenge, the creativity, and the fun. Let them play. Let them explore. Let them fail and learn and grow. And be grateful that you get to be a part of their journey.

It’s a child’s world. We’re just lucky enough to be along for the ride.

If you’re ready to question the traditional norms and move beyond confirmation bias, I invite you to check out my “From Drills to Skills” course. Designed with modern skill acquisition theories in mind, this course will guide you in creating practices that focus on adaptability, decision-making, and real-game scenarios. You’ll learn how to implement representative learning environments and challenge players in ways that traditional drills can’t.

Breaking free from confirmation bias isn’t easy, but it’s essential if we want to develop players who can thrive in the dynamic, unpredictable environment of competitive tennis. With the right tools and an open mind, you can make coaching decisions that truly benefit your players and bring fresh insight into the way tennis coaching is approached.

https://mytenniscoaching.com/drills-to-skills-fast-track-to-match-success/